Not now Nigel

Shopping for Reform.

I’d like to buy some snake oil please

It’s sure to make my problems ease

A spoonful too of sugared truth

& a sticking plaster for my roof.

I’m looking for a bunch of lies

a costumed coat of foul disguise

and hoping you can sort me out

with things that I can shout about.

Half a pound of forged excuses

Buy one get one free on nooses

a quarter pound of bogus blame

To help me sharpen up my aim.

I bought last week a box of hate

and threw it at my neighbours gate

I’d like to buy another box

some enmity and a pile of rocks.

Do you still sell vitriol?

I gave my own to Israel

I’d like to have some just in case

I chance upon the master race.

I’d like to buy some fireworks

Some medals and some rightwing perks

A Molotov with cocktail fuse

some horrid latent racist views.

And finally I hope you sell

A map which shows the way to hell

A plastic bag to put it in

and a balm to thicken up my skin.

Ooops I’ve lost my other list

The one which gives the truth a twist

I hope that you can see the gist

and help me to relax my fist.


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