Addiction

Wheel Sea.

As a flowing mass my words escape the mind in which they cogitate

with coffee strong and the days first fag, unfiltered as I take each drag

This vice has held me many years, relentless in its hold

preventing me from breaking free, unhelping me grow old

Ive stopped before, I’ll try again and maybe I’ll succeed

to find a way to live each day without the poisoned weed.

I’ll try again though doubt is strong in facing what I know is wrong

my complicated sense of self responding to the sirens song.

The who of who I think I am is bound within a shame

the how of how I rid myself becomes a different game

I know the rules of hide and seek, count the numbers, try not peek

go looking for the hidden way, ignore the fact I know I’m weak.

Ive tried and tried so many times, ive tried and tried and failed,

ff I look inside the reasons why my honour is derailed.

I know that I must climb the hill and find myself a stronger will,

remove the millstone from my neck before my lungs are truly wrecked

Before too long I need to show I’ve found the way I need to go

Ive found the key to being free of nicotine and its hold on me.

I wish I knew the truth of who I am and why I smoke

And im saddened by the fact that im a yellow fingered bloke

Can I see an unlit future through the fug of current fiction

And find a way to rid myself of this

& other addictions?

Wheel Sea.